Shape-Ups

Shape-ups

Lately , my eyes have been unwillingly subjected to more sightings than ever, of the grotesque design of Skecher’s new prototype, the Shape-Up. Their mysterious  increase in popularity has lead me to ask one question ….why?  For those of you who are unfamiliar with Shape-ups , they are fitness shoes with an egregiously large sole that supposedly are healthier than shoes with regular, normal sized soles.  From taking a self-proclaimed objective view, I can say without hesitation that there are three main problems regarding these shoes.

      1. Their Aesthetic appearance,

      2.Their true benefit

      3. the fact that they're made by Sketchers.

Figure 1: I can guarantee that Shape-Ups weren’t responsible for their healthy appearance, good looks , nor their ridiculously large smiles.

Their Aesthetic Appearance

I am a fan of diverse styles and fashion trends; however, I think I would be hard pressed to find someone that could look me in the eye, and honestly tell me, with a straight face, that Skecher Shape-Ups are stylish. If I happened to find this person(under  the unique circumstance that this individual could be found outside of Jim Carey’s “Yes Man”), I’m sure they would also tell me that shoes resembling rocking chairs are innovative.

                      Figure 2: A Look into the Mind of the Designer of Shape-Ups

                              Figure 3: The only way this idea could have been validated

Now we all know that in order for this design to have been developed further than a dinner table napkin sketch, two things had to have happened.

1.       The designer thought the idea was so ingenious that he felt the need to show others

2.       The others that laid eyes on this design thought it was cool enough to tell the designer to continue developing it.

 I can’t begin to think who should hold more blame for the advancement of this atrocious idea/design, the person that thought it was cool enough to have others lay eyes upon it, or the person that co-signed on the design after viewing it. I’m sure both acts of idiocy could  be logically backed, creating a ‘who is the bigger putz’ debate. I could see these explanations becoming so ridiculous that soon it might take the place of the age-old, timeless debate of ‘which came first, the chicken or the egg’.

'Benefits'

Despite the despicable image that remains imprinted in my brain after a sighting of these, dare I say, shoes, I wanted to try to take an unbiased view on them so I began to look into the benefits they offer. The first thing I came across was this…

Figure 4: The Benefits of Shape-Ups

Wait…isn’t that the same girl (from figure 1)?!?! Well if it is, at least we know she’s benefiting from the Shape-Ups by receiving two paychecks for her two advertisements. Regardless of this, I tried to shy away from holding the frugality of the sketchers’ marketing department against the shoe itself, so I continued to analyze their benefits. “Improves Posture” , “Strengthens the Back” , “Firms Buttocks Muscles” , “Tones and Firms Thigh Muscles”..Wait…Hold up….! You mean to tell me these shoes give me the same benefits I can receive from exercising more…nothing like giving money to a company, for a product, with benefits I could otherwise get for free...

to affirm my position, let’s take a look at the opportunity cost of buying Skecher Shape-Ups. I searched Shape-Up prices and the lowest one I came across was $75.00. So what opportunities are forgone by paying $75.00.

     1.    A gym membership for $30 dollars a month

     2.     Walking more without spending $75.00

     3.       Time lost while looking for these shoes

Opportunity 1 will give an individual the aforementioned benefits , with more results, while spending less money. Opportunity 2. Will allow one to achieve the same benefits while saving $75.00. and opportunity 3 is the ultimate deal breaker, there is nothing like getting back lost time, especially if that time was spent looking for a shoe that looks like it has a boat hull on the bottom

From analyzing the physical ‘benefits’ of the shoe it seems to me that there is only 1 truth…THERE ARE NO BENEFITS. However, I didn’t want to write off the shoe in its' entirety  just  yet, so I begin looking over other possible ways in which the Shape-Ups could be seen as beneficial.

Eureka!!  It finally hit me, I found the true benefit of Skecher’s Shape-Ups....The "Shallow Hal" Effect (as viewed in figure 5)

Figure 5: Wearing Shape-Ups (On Left) , Not wearing Shape-Ups (On Right)

People didn’t buy the Shape-Ups because they seemed healthier, nor did they buy the shoes because they were comfortable, they bought the shoes because it allowed them to neglect the gym, and still be perceived as physically fit. So essentially, Skechers isn't selling a shoe, it's selling a sorry ass excuse to not exercise. No way! This couldn’t be true. As many times as my logic and intuition has lead me to this belief , I still couldn't believe it, so I decided to look at an old commercials I remember previously seeing to invalidate my conclusion. I found a 15 second commercial and begin to watch it until…

I heard a man utter “Get in shape, without stepping foot in a gym” within the first two seconds...WTF?? This statement turned a 15 second commercial into a 2 second one, as I instantly disregarded the rest of the advertisement. Not only did the commercial make me think less of an already horrible brand, but it reaffirmed my suspicion that Shape-Ups were just a tool used by sedentary, lazy, obese Americans as a “Get out of exercising free” card…I never would have thought…

The Fact that they're Made by Skechers Doesn't Help Either.

            1. (Nikes, Skechers, Reeboks) – Pick one

              2. (Skechers, Pumas, Birkenstocks) – Pick one

              3. (Walmart shoes, Payless Shoes, Skechers) – Pick one

Although this study hasn’t been officially conducted , I am able to say with 100% certainty, that if you picked Skechers in any of these three scenarios you are amongst a 0% minority...Sad, but true...In addition, when has anyone ever talked about going to a store/website at 12:00 a.m. to buy/order the new Skechers??? Don’t worry...ill wait (in the words of Katt Williams). When has anyone ever said, “those Skechers are ‘fresh’”??? again to quote Katt Williams, NOT NEVER!

Written by Ajalon Elliott